Archive for the ‘Success Stories 2008-2009’ Category
AFFINITY EXCHANGE SUCCESS
STUART EPSTEIN and LU HAYES
“ … I was a little hesitant and was not really
looking forward to dating. However, to be married,
one has to go out and meet people and date. …”
From Stuart: Several months after my wife had passed away, I decided that being alone was not my cup of tea. I wanted to start dating with the hope of getting married again someday. However, I had quite a few considerations that I had to overcome before doing so. I had not been part of the dating scene for over 16 years, and, being in my mid-fifties, I really wasn’t in the mood for weird dating experiences. On the other hand, I wasn’t confident that I knew how to create on a new relationship either. After all, I had raised four children and had been through a lot personally, so I wasn’t quite sure how someone else would respond to all of that. I also wondered how I would respond to someone else’s experiences. To say the least, I was a little hesitant and was not really looking forward to dating. However, to be married, one has to go out and meet people and date. Since I had used the Affinity Exchange back in ‘91–‘92 (that’s right, before the Internet!) to find my last wife, I decided to repeat a successful action.
I wasn’t sure how I would deal with rejection. I had just suffered a big loss and I didn’t know how I would respond. Well, on my first coffee date, that is what happened (rejection). To my surprise, it didn’t bother me one iota! Just dusted off my pants and got back into it. I emailed and dated a few women, all very nice.
I met Lu in July. I didn’t have much expectation, but I did like her profile. We hit it off right from the very beginning. It has been a rocket ride ever since. I can’t rave enough about her. The funny thing is, she knew my kids, but we didn’t know each other. If it weren’t for the Affinity Exchange, we probably never would have met. Four months later, we got married. There has never been any doubt in my mind. My expectations were more than exceeded and we are very, very happy together.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the Affinity Exchange for providing safe lines of communication. Marcia really cares about her clients. For example, Marcia was trying to get me to change my picture. Well, my picture may not have been flattering but I got the result I wanted. Thank you Marcia–again!
From Lu: Instead of beginning with how it all started and came about, let me tell you how it ended up . . . I am soooo happily married to the sweetest, funniest, most caring, on-purpose, able being I have ever been so lucky to find. And the very best part is that he loves me just how I am . . . it really shows too. (I just love happy endings, especially when they are beginnings, as this one is.)
If it had not been for the Affinity-Exchange, I would probably not have run into him. Odd, because we did all the same activities at about the same times, but we did them with an entirely different group of people, so we never ran into each other!!
Let’s take a look now at the beginning. I had been divorced for about 4 years and hadn’t really wanted to start up any relationship. Then I met someone. It looked okay, pretty good, in fact. I went out with him for a year on and off. However, we wanted different things so it sorta faded off into the LA haze.
I saw that a dear friend of mine (Mary) had successfully used the Affinity Exchange. Well, if she could find true love, then I could too. The first few dates had ups and downs, but I decided that I needed to just meet more people—I knew that I just hadn’t met the right guy yet. Besides I had this “list”. It had everything on it that I really wanted as an ideal 2D so we would both be happy for the rest of our lives. Figured I was being picky.
I saw Stuart’s profile and really liked it … didn’t like the picture, but I liked what he had to say. It was very honest and heartfelt. We emailed a few times and then agreed on a dinner date.
From the time he picked me up for dinner–from the first second–we hit it off. We talked for hours! I found out that I “knew” him already, even though I had never met him! When his kids were teenagers, we had worked together at an Org. I had even given his previous wife some assists! I had never met him tho! Anyway, dinner went from good to better and better. After dinner we went out for coffee and talked some more. We had such a good time!
The next morning he sent me a wonderful email, and then we went out again–a really great date! On our next date (to an Event), I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. He really, really liked me just the way I was. It was so validating, and he made me smile–all the time!
We spent a part of every day together, texting each other when we were apart, or emailing, but always in comm. We got married on November 7th, only four months after we met. It feels like we have been together all our life.
Oh yeah … remember that “list” I had made before I met him? He had every point of it but one—he just needs to buy me flowers! Cool, eh?
JOE CANEEN and LAURY DIZENGREMEL
From Joe: I was long distance truck driving and one evening I was perusing Craig’s List when I noticed, for the first time, the “personals” section. I had never tried any type of on-line dating, but this was free. Well, one thing led to another and next thing I knew I was clicking on links that led me to other sites, each costing a bit of money and each plagued by scammers. It was nevertheless intriguing so I kept slogging away. Finally I stumbled onto Affinity Exchange which seemed more suited to what I was looking for. But around the same time I decided I was tired of the whole thing and stopped checking any of the sites for messages. Then, annoyed by all the emails from the various sites telling me of winks and things, I started systematically cancelling out every site I had joined.
When I got to Affinity Exchange, out of curiosity, I did read the mail that was there, intrigued by one message saying there was a smile from a girl, the last one there to check–and don’t ask me how this happened, but at the same moment my Yahoo Mail flashed, alerting me to a message from AE. It was from this same girl–Laury! I was that close to canceling out the account! How’s that for magic?
She was in England, enroute to Paris, and I was driving around the western United States. We chatted by email and then by phone. It seemed we had some amazing things in common—especially our goals in life!
I had already planned to stop driving in June and fire away on a personal business plan. I think it was April when the phone call happened, and before I even had a chance to invite her over (in June), she said, “Why don’t I come over for a visit?” “Errr … uh … I was going to invite you over in June, but you beat me to it! When did you have in mind?” “How about next week?” she said. (!!!)
Well, Laury can tell the rest of the story, but here’s an interesting twist she doesn’t even know about. You see, she’s in China right now working on several sculpture commissions, having left the U.S. via England a few days ago. Just last night, for the first time in a long time, I was going through the HUNDREDS of photos we took on our trip. (Did I mention I kidnapped her and took her on a 15,000 mile trip all over the U.S. in a tractor trailer truck?) I decided I was going to edit the best of them to a song. (What song do you want to use, Honey?) Then I woke up to an email from her suggesting we write success stories for the Affinity Exchange. OK, here is mine, seeing as how I started working on the video version already. (And don’t change that “seeing as how”. I know it ain’t proper English, but we’re in Montana now). Now for the rest of the story, here’s Laury—
From Laury: I had been on Affinity Exchange and other sites on and off for a while, and frankly I was getting completely discouraged. I’d met two guys via AE, and both times this had led to some heartache and ultimately a feeling of having wasted time, so I wasn’t exactly rarin’ to try again.
I’d been in my studio in China (where I couldn’t access the site) for several months in a row. When I arrived back in the UK, one of my daughters coaxed me to try again. I looked, and there, suddenly, was Joe’s profile! I remembered him from having met him a dozen or so times over a period of 25 years, casually, across the globe on shoots when he used to be a film director/cameraman. His profile mentioned goals which dovetailed with mine, but I saw he was looking for someone younger than me, so my first impulsive click to send a smile was actually just to say “hi” as a friend, not as a 2D reach. Then I also sent him a message to say this, but Joe answered as a 2D reach.
After clearing up the “younger” thing (he assured me that was just to widen the net and maybe have some kids, but he felt my 3 wonderful and grown-up ones would fit the bill just fine), we started to exchange more and more e-mails and then calls. I planned to go back to China a month later, so when we’d reached a high level of comm, I offered to come over for a visit in May. It was, in my mind, a “no pressure visit” for a few days, and I reserved the option to go visit my son in Los Angeles if it became obvious it wouldn’t be a go-ahead 2D wise!
But…. after taking me to visit a bunch of galleries and dazzling scenery, Joe practically kidnapped me for a long jaunt in his truck from mid-May to mid-July, and we had the opportunity to talk non-stop for several wonderful weeks while we drove long-hauls across small highways and byways all over the U.S. We ended up with a visit to his mother’s house in Ohio. That much comm was exactly what was needed to get the “R” and “A” to go sky-high. (What song Joe? How about “God Bless the Broken Road that Led me Straight to You?” by Rascal Flatts…)
I kidnapped him back a few weeks later and took him to England to meet my kids and friends, then to France to meet my father and sister and brother-in-law. This was mid-July to mid-September!
Joe started talking way back when I arrived in May as if it were a foregone conclusion we’d be married–long before he actually proposed! He’s a real romantic, but not in any formal or traditional way. He makes it up as he goes, in his own unique style!
We were married by the Chief of the Blackfoot tribe in Montana just a few months later in December. We’d been inseparable since we’d met in May, except for a short trip on my own for a public artwork of mine to be unveiled in Ireland. One of my daughters, my long-lost brother, a new friend of ours and a small wonderful Beagle were our only witnesses.
We’ve been meaning to write success stories since we decided to get married back in June last year, but have been too busy settling in to an area neither one us had lived in before! And oh, yes! My U.S. permanent residency cycle has been the smoothest and fastest ever, thanks to the low demographics of Montana!
Think of it–in under 15 months, we’ve met, romanced, married, moved all our stuff from continents away. We’ve bottle-fed a tiny feral kitten, “Bella Shushi Blue Green Na-Ah” (long story), adopted a large, amazing dog “Reba” (who flushed out a mountain lion camped out in our front yard without so much as a bark or raised hackles while we found ourselves staring it down 15 feet away), my immigration cycle has been completed, we have a wonderful home high on a hill with a beautiful view of the valley and pristine mountain wilderness beyond, plus a large art studio and continuing romance in the wilds of Montana. Just about worthy of an LRH-style high-action fiction novel !
Marcia, thank you so much for playing matchmaker as well as you do! — Love, Laury
AFFINITY EXCHANGE SUCCESS STORY
ROBERT SCHWARTZ and AYGUL FAVRUSHINA
“…marrying Aygul was like winning the lottery!”
From Robert: I want to take this opportunity to thank Marcia and the Affinity Exchange in helping me find my wife. I live in western Canada, an area where there are not many Scientologists, so the best way for me to connect with them was via an online service such as AE. I was fortunate enough to have met many nice ladies over time; however finding someone to marry was a whole different story.
About 8 months ago I decided not to compromise on anything and postulated to find my ideal 2D. I am happy to say I did! We are from different continents (she is from Russia!), so that was the first challenge. Fortunately, we were able to spend over a month together in both Paris and Spain on two separate trips. When we weren’t together, we managed to talk on an average of 3 hours per day. Despite our different backgrounds, we have an enormous amount of things in common, as well as a very natural understanding for each other. She is also a very big romantic, just as I am. In short, I am extremely happy.
Oh, one other thing–marrying Aygul was like winning the lottery!
From Aygul: I am thankful to Marcia for her help and want to say she is doing a great job connecting people, especially from different countries.
I met my husband when I was about to lose my hope to find the man that I knew was ideal for me. It was amazing–from the very first emails, we seemed to understand each other at once. Everything was just natural and easy, even though he is on the highest level in our religion, and I am just moving up.
All I can say to people who are still in search for their second half is: there are no boundaries in the universe. You need to follow your heart, know exactly what you want and keep your ethics in.
From Bridgette: The entire Affinity Exchange experience actually started out with a bottle of wine, two very dear girlfriends, and a laptop. I was brand new to internet dating—actually did it because my friends pushed me into it. I guess I had become one of their projects.
I wasn’t on the Affinity Exchange very long, had just about given up, and had actually decided to close down my profile. I was literally in the middle of trying to figure out how to do it when I noticed that I had been hot listed. Having no idea what that was, I looked into it and, in so doing, discovered Gene. There he was!
He is exactly what I was looking for, and vice-versa. We instantly fell head-over-heels in love! He is a wonderful man. Our relationship is so easy–there is no effort—it’s just a bundle of joy. We couldn’t be happier!
We are putting together our “From the Beginning…” Scrapbook. We both want to have what our profiles said, as well as all of the emails that led up to our dating, etc.
For something I originally pooh-poohed, boy, what an incredible happy ending! I cannot thank you enough for your site, your kindness, and your help. It is a very needed thing. My life is very complete and I feel very fulfilled. — Much love, Bridgette
From Gene: I had recently ended a relationship and felt that I was not quite ready to resume dating when I first logged onto the website. I was actually just trying to take a step towards “getting back into the game” by setting up my profile and bookmarking a few people I might be interested in contacting once I felt I was ready. I was perturbed that I couldn’t figure out how to hide my newly created profile, as I didn’t want anyone to see it just yet.
Well, one of the women I bookmarked (hotlisted) did see my profile before I had the opportunity to hide it. She not only saw it, but winked at me via the site three times that same night. I couldn’t very well ignore that! So I joined the next day and e-mailed her, thereby beginning the greatest relationship I could possibly imagine.
We met a few days later. After two months, we were engaged. Six months later, we were married. And the honeymoon continues every single day. Bridgette is the most incredible woman I’ve ever met and is everything I could possibly desire in a life partner . . . and more! Words could never adequately describe my love for her and how tremendously she has enhanced my life.
Thank you for providing the forum for me to find my true soulmate. – Love, Gene
YULIA BYCHKOVA AND JEFF JENNER
“… and then we called each other every single day–for 3 years!”
From Jeff: I was a member of the Affinity Exchange for several years or so and had some losses on failing to find a wife. I thought about going off it but didn’t because I knew that I would find the one for me sooner or later. I had a strong postulate to make this happen.
About four years ago, I emailed my future wife for the first time. She was living in Vancouver, Canada, and I was in Clearwater, Florida. We carried on our relationship over the phone with great communication for several months. Then I visited her for the first time. It went wonderfully (as I knew it would), and we planned to meet again soon!
There were more “reasons” than I care to mention here for us to stop the relationship right there–one being the huge distance between us–but we both just kept our postulates and communication alive, and I visited her many more times. We didn’t give up, and I proposed to her on New Years Eve at midnight, 2007. Amid fireworks and bells tolling, she said yes!
Thanks Marcia for creating this wonderful tool to help someone find their love, friend, husband or wife. I am truly happy with my wife and marriage and could not have done it without you and Affinity Exchange!
FROM YULIA: It took me seven years to find and recognize Jeff. I was looking online internationally because there seemed to be not that many men who share the same religious philosophy in my country (I’m originally from Russia and was living at the time in Canada). I always had this exciting idea about having an international family. It takes perseverance and intention because you start a lot of comm lines and many of them look so promising in the beginning, but then you find yourself disappointed and have to start the search all over again–and do this again and again. I went through a few periods of “I am not doing this online dating anymore,” but I would return to the website as why would I want to decrease my chances? I would rather increase them.
When I first saw Jeff’s profile, it actually caught my eye. I liked what he wrote about himself and I liked his picture, but I decided not to email him as he was too young for me (8 months younger). This was silly, of course, so I was lucky that he sent an email to me! Fortunately, I was within his age category. I was almost in apathy about online dating at that point, but somehow he made me laugh with one of his first emails, so it took some of the seriousness out of the game.
Here are some actions I took which I consider were successful. First of all, I wrote my 2D admin scale and then reworked it many times. Jeff also had his admin scale, so we were able to exchange and discuss them. My admin scale was quite detailed. I knew which points I would not compromise on.
We emailed each other every day, and then we called each other every single day–for 3 years! By the end of the first year I knew more about Jeff than anybody! If you don’t stay in close comm, you can’t do long distance for a long time because distance is a great challenge to affinity and reality, especially if you live in different countries and can’t just fly over every week. It actually is a good indicator as to whether the relationship can survive if you find enough points of reality and interest to be able to stay in close communication.
I received a lot of messages from other nice men, but after two or three emails, I just didn’t know what else I could talk about! I couldn’t squeeze out any more comm in their direction—it just wouldn’t flow. With Jeff, it was easy, it was flowing, and I enjoyed it. This is important too–you have to enjoy it; you can’t enforce it on yourself.
While in comm with Jeff, I started writing poems again and wrote quite a few. I was also able to accomplish something in my life which I thought I could never do. I think when you are with the right person you get more theta and surprise yourself. This indicated to me.
Another successful action was telling each other about “the skeletons in our closets” and accepting them from each other. This was really, really good because after that I felt he allowed me to be myself.
We also applied conditions. This actually worked like magic. At one point we almost broke up, but by applying conditions and getting off any withholds, we saved our relationship.
Then I remembered about flows. If you outflow, you get inflow. This stuff works!! I put a lot of work into my profile to express myself, plus I had a professional picture on the website. I had outflowed to guys, plus I helped other people to get on the website and helped them create and/or translate their profiles.
Jeff and I have been married over a year now. Sometimes I stop for a second and think, “Wow! Five years ago I wouldn’t think all this was possible!” Thanks, Marcia!!!