Archive for the ‘Some Success Stories’ Category
MYLES PANG and OLGA PLESKUSHKINA
From Olga: My name is Olga. I’m from Russia. In 2010, I began to create active threads to find a loved one with whom I could create a family. My story is both unusual and romantic. For instance, I already had three children–an integral part of my life. Thus, I realized that my mate would need to have a big, loving and caring heart.
In spring of 2010, I had a lot of spiritual counseling and also worked to improve my ethics—both to a great result.
One of my friends had registered on The Affinity Exchange site, so I did too; but the site was in English, which I did not understand. All that I could do was look at the photographs of people who were interested in me. I paid little attention due to the language barrier. Then in early September, I saw that my profile had been repeatedly looked at by the same man, who finally sent me a message.
I was amazed by his picture, or rather his eyes, which beamed peace, love, confidence, and caring. I wanted to answer him, so asked for help from my friend who teaches English. We wrote a letter using conventional phrases of introduction. He lived in Canada so there was a 10 hour time difference, but he responded quickly with a very warm letter. I felt comfortable communicating with him. We then wrote daily, quickly increasing our reality. For example, I found out he also had three children!
Our feelings became stronger after our first contact using Skype. I could talk, but my English was very poor and I had trouble finding a translator. But we were able to look at each other, which was more important than words! There were a lot of feelings and desire to carry out our intentions. Myles asked me if I wanted to be with him and said I had to answer yes–I could not answer no. I felt it was too fast in our short acquaintance, but I could not answer no. I said yes! Myles was thrilled!
Almost immediately we began to plan our meeting. Because of difficulties with Russian visas, Myles flew to Russia on November 11th. The day after his arrival, he knelt in front of me, held out the ring, and proposed! It was unforgettable!! We stayed in a nice hotel next to my city of Togliatti. I felt like a queen! I felt an endless stream of love and caring. We knew, despite the language barrier, that we loved each other. Myles met my children and my mother. His kindness and charm won them over. We were together for four fabulous days.
We planned for him to return in the spring and arrange a marriage in Russia. I had failed in previous relationships, and sometimes I feared this would happen again; but Myles, with his love, confidence, and communication, dissolved my doubts. Despite frustrating delays, I stayed positive and continued sewing my wedding dress. We talked every day on Skype and wrote letters to each other. Our children also began to communicate and became friends!
Our love expanded! I wore a ring, which gave me confidence in our future together. It was a long wait to complete all the documents, but finally, on December 25, 2011, he arrived! I met him at the airport, my heart jumping for joy! He could only stay 6 days.
We enjoyed each other’s company, always holding hands. The physical contact helped make up for the year of waiting. Every day we worked on document preparations for the marriage. Not all the information was acceptable to the chief registrar, which put us through a difficult period of worries and stress. We supported each other with our love and postulates to be together–and we won! On 30 December we received permission to get married. That left only half a day for wedding preparations!
The restaurants were very busy with New Year’s feasts, but through our joint efforts, and the help of my friends, we created our wedding! I was a very happy bride. Together, we shine like a bright constellation! The next morning my husband had to return to Canada. I do not feel sad, as our relationship is filled with love and power! Now, I wear two rings. One of them depicts the symbol of infinity–our love is endless!
I am very grateful for The Affinity Exchange as it allowed me to expand my lines of communication such that I was able to meet my beloved man! We have a great love, the glow of which extends to our family and all who are close to us! — With infinite respect and gratitude, Olga Pang.
From Myles: I started a membership with The Affinity Exchange as I knew it included members with similar interests to me, especially in relation to spiritual beliefs. This was a major area of misalignment in my first marriage.
I started exchanging communication with a few women and was considering arranging to meet a lady from Venezuela when I got a reply from Olga. I remember looking at her profile and pictures and thinking that this lady would be at the top of the list and would challenge me to be the best me that I could be. My impression was that she was ethical, determined and beautiful!
After a few email communications we decided to have a video conversation on Skype. In this conversation we discussed that I was considering meeting another lady. It was apparent that I needed to make a choice. I chose Olga right then and there during that Skype conversation! It was a magical moment when we recognized our intentions towards each other. Somehow it felt right, familiar and perfect! Even though we did not know each other’s language and had to use Google to translate our emails and chats, it was still perfect!
A couple of months later I was in Russia. I proposed, and she said yes!
It took a frustratingly long time to get the papers ready to be able to be married in Russia. Though we did not see each other for a year, our relationship and love grew stronger all the while.
I flew out from Canada on Christmas eve. I had a stack of documents about an inch thick. We went to the authorities in Russia to get permission to be married. We had only 5 business days total to get this sorted out and get married. One of the documents was missing a stamp from the Russian embassy in Canada. The official answer was that we could not be married. Somehow, by intention and communication, the official responsible for making the decision said that if I signed one more affidavit in Russia, she would allow it. On Wednesday we got the affidavit signed and received our invitation to be married on Friday at 14:30! My flight home was on Saturday morning!
Well, Olga managed to pull together all her friends for a Friday afternoon wedding. We had a professional photographer, video, flowers and all the trimmings. We somehow got a perfect sized private room in our favorite restaurant! It was a wonderful wedding with family and warm friends. She has three wonderful children who are excited about coming to Canada. They are already Facebook friends with my three girls, who are equally excited to have two new brothers and another sister!
Olga and I are perfectly aligned in our life goals, and we both know that we love each other more than we can express. We know that we don’t need to say anything. Olga’s friends have observed that even though we have limited knowledge of each other’s language, we seem to have no problem communicating. Quite amazing, really!
While working on the immigration process, I’m busy building some more bedrooms in the basement to accommodate our soon-to-be family of 8!
Thank you, Affinity Exchange, for making it possible to find the love that exceeds my dreams!
– Love, Myles
From Lidia: When I created my profile in Affinity Exchange I did not really expect too much from this. But I knew that if you want to find something you need to make outflow and the site seemed to fulfill this purpose.
Around that time I was pretty busy preparing my trip to Denmark. So I just created the profile, wrote something about myself and then kind of forgot about it and then went to Denmark for study. I was not really expecting that something immediately would happen although I felt that something should happen in my life. And I just decided to do my best, be concentrated about my studies and let things going any way they would go.
Then one day – I entered the course room and I saw HIM! When I looked at him I knew instinctively that this was the way the man of my dreams should look. I immediately understood that this was the kind of man I had been looking for all this time. And it was as if he also noticed me and some connection happened in that moment.
Shortly after this “meeting” I had to go back to Russia without having a chance to explore this further. When I arrived home my first action was to check Affinity Exchange with my new idea about who I am really looking for. This time I decided at least to look at the men’s profiles on the site because before I did not care about those.
Imagine the shock – I nearly jumped out of my chair when in my search I saw exactly that very Danish person!!! I carefully read his profile and could not believe that everything he wrote was exactly what I was looking for!! Every single charactaristic was coinciding with my ideals – purposes, languages spoken, color of eyes, age, taste in music and our religion! I could not believe that this was possible at all. And a single “smile” sent through this site to his profile changed my life forever…
We are now married and live together in Denmark and everything we have found out about each other is even better than each of us ever dared to dream about.
From Stig: I had created my profile at Affinity Exchange some time ago and had even started some conversations but, all in all, I did not really find a true match – it felt like a blind alley. I got involved in other activities and became inactive on the site for a while.
Then I was starting some studies in Copenhagen. One day I was sitting in the course room, incidently turned around and saw SOMEONE who seemed to make some sparks flying throught the air. I knew that something special had occured but had not chance to explore this further – she seemed to have disappeared from town.
A few days later I was checking my email and saw a notification about a “smile” from Affinity Exchange. Of course, I had to check this out – and, much to my surprise, I saw a picture of EXACTLY the one I had seen in the course room!! Not only that – when I looked over the profile I could hardly believe how well it matched to my ideas and feelings.
I decided to write, and the many conversations only confirmed how well we matched each other. And I had no doubts about how right our relationship was and it was developing quite fast. So the next time she came for studies in Copenhagen we also got married and the rest is history!
AFFINITY EXCHANGE SUCCESS STORY
GREG BUTLER and MARLANA SZOKE
From Marlana: I had never imagined meeting someone through a dating website, but I had ended a relationship and, after a little while, I decided I would try the Affinity Exchange. I had been in California before and decided I wanted to return, so I searched the website for guys in California as well as New Jersey.
I sent smiles to a few guys, but there was one in particular who caught my interest. Something in his eyes came through to me—something special. However, he did not respond to the smile. Nevertheless, after awhile I decided to email him. Still I did not hear from him. That was around December 2008. In February 2009, I sent him a message letting him know that although I was interested in finding a partner, I was also interested in meeting new friends in California since I was moving there. This time he answered. (Later on, I found out that the reason he did not answer earlier was because he was in a relationship at that time).
This started our communication via emails, just asking questions and getting to know each other.
Once he was convinced I was really coming to California, we started talking on the phone. I enjoyed this time of “getting to know each other.” He had a wonderful sound to his voice. I felt I could say almost anything. We became really close at this point. We started to web cam about a month or so before I moved. I had some stable things going for me in New Jersey, so relocating was a big change and involved some risks. Greg became a stable point for me. While I was traveling, we communicated every day by one means or another.
When I arrived and was walking up to his door, I experienced doubts, but then I remembered all the great comm cycles we’d had and how he was there for me when I was having a rough time with the move.
We then hung out a lot and really got to know each other, becoming really good friends. I appreciated his wonderful heart and sincerity. He made me feel good about myself and was supportive of my goals. Thus I started to fall in love with him and realize I had a really good thing going.
What is really important to me is that we are best friends, can be ourselves, and support each others’ goals. We may not always be on the same page, but hey!–that’s real life. Here is a quote I love: “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
Another good one: “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. “
I found someone with a true and sincere heart–what I really wanted in a man. When I look into his eyes, I see his love for me and that makes me love him even more. I feel that when people are looking for a lifelong partner, they should not be so quick to judge. You should take time to really get to know the person inside. If they have similar goals to you, and you like who they are inside as a being, go for it. You may be looking for some ideal “look,” as well as how you want them to be and act. If you go a little out of this set reality, you may be surprised at what you find. I am so happy I was not quick to judge as I would have missed out on a good- hearted, sincere man. And remember, a relationship doesn’t just “happen.” You have to work at it to some degree. Be creative and make it fun!
We got married on October 9, 2010. We continue to create the future together and help each other achieve our goals. Thank you, Marcia, for making this possible!
From Greg: I had joined the Affinity Exchange to see if I could find a girlfriend. I went on some dates and had lots of fun. However, I wasn’t finding that special one I was searching for.
I was just about to quit the site, but I had one more month paid for. Then Marlana smiled at me for the second time. She was in New Jersey so I didn’t really pay any mind because I was looking for someone in L.A. However, I felt the intention that she wanted to communicate, so I emailed her and we started emailing back and forth. When she told me she was moving to Los Angeles, I became real interested.
We had lots of communication back and forth before she got to LA. When she finally arrived, it was time to see if we could really date and have fun together. If not, I would have at least made a new friend.
After a month or so, we were really getting to know each other, and I felt that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had become best friends and really clicked. After being together about 10 months, I proposed to her. Without any hesitation she said YES! We had a great wedding in October.
I knew when she said yes that we were best friends for life and would never be alone again. Six months later, we still share our days together like it was our first date.
The Affinity Exchange site provided the tool to help me find the love of my life. Thank you, Marcia!
AARON MATTHES and OLGA KRAYKIVSKAYA
“ … All external barriers fell away with ease … “
From Aaron: I was looking for just the right spirit and AE helped me find her. Distance and time considerations rated low on the list of barriers, what with all the other spiritual attributes being there. So I put out my postulate, threw out the comm line, and it happened!
AE’s great profile questions and their truthful responses, along with the pictures, allowed me to find my dearest ally in a quick fashion. The email comm started in April, during which our communication proved completely open, able to approach any subject with ease, feeling able to ‘be’ who we were with no facades, pretenses or witholding. It was even better over the phone, and we laughed and most importantly were very interested in each other’s realities and wanted to communicate more. Deep affinity soon took hold.
In May I told her I wanted to come visit. She was very amazed that I had made my mind up so fast, but it was also in her reality that it could be so. For me, I knew all I needed to know, so what was the point in introducing arbitraries. As it turned out, she had a strong intention to visit Florida, so I arranged for her to come to where I lived. She took care of her visa and leave from work, as did I. All external barriers fell away with ease, including what would be considered by most an uncomfortable interview with a government official for the visa. She visited for three weeks in July. By the end of the visit, I had proposed. I flew to St. Peterburg in December, and we are now married!
We are very happy and our smiles cannot be suppressed when together. Our dreams are big and surely will come to be, so all the other small stuff simply gets rolled over very easily. We are 100% intent on being together, and no barriers will stop us. Governments can make it difficult for two people who fall in love to then simply be together. Olga and I take this in stride, while breathing a sigh of ‘whatever’ . After recognizing this games condition, we put things into perspective: there’s a powerful dynamic here, life is long, and our plans are big!
We wish others to have our same good fortune, so we encourage you to drop any considerations you may have about distance and governmental barriers. Find the right person, wherever they are in the world, and make it go right! Thank you, Marcia, for creating this wonderful international service.
From Olga: When I started to communicate with Aaron on Affinity Exchange, I was surprised how incredible he was. He expressed his feelings and thoughts with such beautiful words! They really touched my heart. We found that we have a lot of things in common. Our plans, interests and purposes in life are almost the same. I understood that I had met someone very special for me.
Thousands of miles are between us (he lives in Florida, and I live in Russia), but despite all the barriers, we courted and got married. Now we see our future in very bright colors!
I was looking for a man with whom I can stay with forever. And now, thanks to Marcia and AE, I found him. I am not sure that it would have been possible without Affinity Exchange. Thank you for making our happiness possible!
Much love, Olga
AFFINITY EXCHANGE SUCCESS
STUART EPSTEIN and LU HAYES
“ … I was a little hesitant and was not really
looking forward to dating. However, to be married,
one has to go out and meet people and date. …”
From Stuart: Several months after my wife had passed away, I decided that being alone was not my cup of tea. I wanted to start dating with the hope of getting married again someday. However, I had quite a few considerations that I had to overcome before doing so. I had not been part of the dating scene for over 16 years, and, being in my mid-fifties, I really wasn’t in the mood for weird dating experiences. On the other hand, I wasn’t confident that I knew how to create on a new relationship either. After all, I had raised four children and had been through a lot personally, so I wasn’t quite sure how someone else would respond to all of that. I also wondered how I would respond to someone else’s experiences. To say the least, I was a little hesitant and was not really looking forward to dating. However, to be married, one has to go out and meet people and date. Since I had used the Affinity Exchange back in ‘91–‘92 (that’s right, before the Internet!) to find my last wife, I decided to repeat a successful action.
I wasn’t sure how I would deal with rejection. I had just suffered a big loss and I didn’t know how I would respond. Well, on my first coffee date, that is what happened (rejection). To my surprise, it didn’t bother me one iota! Just dusted off my pants and got back into it. I emailed and dated a few women, all very nice.
I met Lu in July. I didn’t have much expectation, but I did like her profile. We hit it off right from the very beginning. It has been a rocket ride ever since. I can’t rave enough about her. The funny thing is, she knew my kids, but we didn’t know each other. If it weren’t for the Affinity Exchange, we probably never would have met. Four months later, we got married. There has never been any doubt in my mind. My expectations were more than exceeded and we are very, very happy together.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the Affinity Exchange for providing safe lines of communication. Marcia really cares about her clients. For example, Marcia was trying to get me to change my picture. Well, my picture may not have been flattering but I got the result I wanted. Thank you Marcia–again!
From Lu: Instead of beginning with how it all started and came about, let me tell you how it ended up . . . I am soooo happily married to the sweetest, funniest, most caring, on-purpose, able being I have ever been so lucky to find. And the very best part is that he loves me just how I am . . . it really shows too. (I just love happy endings, especially when they are beginnings, as this one is.)
If it had not been for the Affinity-Exchange, I would probably not have run into him. Odd, because we did all the same activities at about the same times, but we did them with an entirely different group of people, so we never ran into each other!!
Let’s take a look now at the beginning. I had been divorced for about 4 years and hadn’t really wanted to start up any relationship. Then I met someone. It looked okay, pretty good, in fact. I went out with him for a year on and off. However, we wanted different things so it sorta faded off into the LA haze.
I saw that a dear friend of mine (Mary) had successfully used the Affinity Exchange. Well, if she could find true love, then I could too. The first few dates had ups and downs, but I decided that I needed to just meet more people—I knew that I just hadn’t met the right guy yet. Besides I had this “list”. It had everything on it that I really wanted as an ideal 2D so we would both be happy for the rest of our lives. Figured I was being picky.
I saw Stuart’s profile and really liked it … didn’t like the picture, but I liked what he had to say. It was very honest and heartfelt. We emailed a few times and then agreed on a dinner date.
From the time he picked me up for dinner–from the first second–we hit it off. We talked for hours! I found out that I “knew” him already, even though I had never met him! When his kids were teenagers, we had worked together at an Org. I had even given his previous wife some assists! I had never met him tho! Anyway, dinner went from good to better and better. After dinner we went out for coffee and talked some more. We had such a good time!
The next morning he sent me a wonderful email, and then we went out again–a really great date! On our next date (to an Event), I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. He really, really liked me just the way I was. It was so validating, and he made me smile–all the time!
We spent a part of every day together, texting each other when we were apart, or emailing, but always in comm. We got married on November 7th, only four months after we met. It feels like we have been together all our life.
Oh yeah … remember that “list” I had made before I met him? He had every point of it but one—he just needs to buy me flowers! Cool, eh?
JOE CANEEN and LAURY DIZENGREMEL
From Joe: I was long distance truck driving and one evening I was perusing Craig’s List when I noticed, for the first time, the “personals” section. I had never tried any type of on-line dating, but this was free. Well, one thing led to another and next thing I knew I was clicking on links that led me to other sites, each costing a bit of money and each plagued by scammers. It was nevertheless intriguing so I kept slogging away. Finally I stumbled onto Affinity Exchange which seemed more suited to what I was looking for. But around the same time I decided I was tired of the whole thing and stopped checking any of the sites for messages. Then, annoyed by all the emails from the various sites telling me of winks and things, I started systematically cancelling out every site I had joined.
When I got to Affinity Exchange, out of curiosity, I did read the mail that was there, intrigued by one message saying there was a smile from a girl, the last one there to check–and don’t ask me how this happened, but at the same moment my Yahoo Mail flashed, alerting me to a message from AE. It was from this same girl–Laury! I was that close to canceling out the account! How’s that for magic?
She was in England, enroute to Paris, and I was driving around the western United States. We chatted by email and then by phone. It seemed we had some amazing things in common—especially our goals in life!
I had already planned to stop driving in June and fire away on a personal business plan. I think it was April when the phone call happened, and before I even had a chance to invite her over (in June), she said, “Why don’t I come over for a visit?” “Errr … uh … I was going to invite you over in June, but you beat me to it! When did you have in mind?” “How about next week?” she said. (!!!)
Well, Laury can tell the rest of the story, but here’s an interesting twist she doesn’t even know about. You see, she’s in China right now working on several sculpture commissions, having left the U.S. via England a few days ago. Just last night, for the first time in a long time, I was going through the HUNDREDS of photos we took on our trip. (Did I mention I kidnapped her and took her on a 15,000 mile trip all over the U.S. in a tractor trailer truck?) I decided I was going to edit the best of them to a song. (What song do you want to use, Honey?) Then I woke up to an email from her suggesting we write success stories for the Affinity Exchange. OK, here is mine, seeing as how I started working on the video version already. (And don’t change that “seeing as how”. I know it ain’t proper English, but we’re in Montana now). Now for the rest of the story, here’s Laury—
From Laury: I had been on Affinity Exchange and other sites on and off for a while, and frankly I was getting completely discouraged. I’d met two guys via AE, and both times this had led to some heartache and ultimately a feeling of having wasted time, so I wasn’t exactly rarin’ to try again.
I’d been in my studio in China (where I couldn’t access the site) for several months in a row. When I arrived back in the UK, one of my daughters coaxed me to try again. I looked, and there, suddenly, was Joe’s profile! I remembered him from having met him a dozen or so times over a period of 25 years, casually, across the globe on shoots when he used to be a film director/cameraman. His profile mentioned goals which dovetailed with mine, but I saw he was looking for someone younger than me, so my first impulsive click to send a smile was actually just to say “hi” as a friend, not as a 2D reach. Then I also sent him a message to say this, but Joe answered as a 2D reach.
After clearing up the “younger” thing (he assured me that was just to widen the net and maybe have some kids, but he felt my 3 wonderful and grown-up ones would fit the bill just fine), we started to exchange more and more e-mails and then calls. I planned to go back to China a month later, so when we’d reached a high level of comm, I offered to come over for a visit in May. It was, in my mind, a “no pressure visit” for a few days, and I reserved the option to go visit my son in Los Angeles if it became obvious it wouldn’t be a go-ahead 2D wise!
But…. after taking me to visit a bunch of galleries and dazzling scenery, Joe practically kidnapped me for a long jaunt in his truck from mid-May to mid-July, and we had the opportunity to talk non-stop for several wonderful weeks while we drove long-hauls across small highways and byways all over the U.S. We ended up with a visit to his mother’s house in Ohio. That much comm was exactly what was needed to get the “R” and “A” to go sky-high. (What song Joe? How about “God Bless the Broken Road that Led me Straight to You?” by Rascal Flatts…)
I kidnapped him back a few weeks later and took him to England to meet my kids and friends, then to France to meet my father and sister and brother-in-law. This was mid-July to mid-September!
Joe started talking way back when I arrived in May as if it were a foregone conclusion we’d be married–long before he actually proposed! He’s a real romantic, but not in any formal or traditional way. He makes it up as he goes, in his own unique style!
We were married by the Chief of the Blackfoot tribe in Montana just a few months later in December. We’d been inseparable since we’d met in May, except for a short trip on my own for a public artwork of mine to be unveiled in Ireland. One of my daughters, my long-lost brother, a new friend of ours and a small wonderful Beagle were our only witnesses.
We’ve been meaning to write success stories since we decided to get married back in June last year, but have been too busy settling in to an area neither one us had lived in before! And oh, yes! My U.S. permanent residency cycle has been the smoothest and fastest ever, thanks to the low demographics of Montana!
Think of it–in under 15 months, we’ve met, romanced, married, moved all our stuff from continents away. We’ve bottle-fed a tiny feral kitten, “Bella Shushi Blue Green Na-Ah” (long story), adopted a large, amazing dog “Reba” (who flushed out a mountain lion camped out in our front yard without so much as a bark or raised hackles while we found ourselves staring it down 15 feet away), my immigration cycle has been completed, we have a wonderful home high on a hill with a beautiful view of the valley and pristine mountain wilderness beyond, plus a large art studio and continuing romance in the wilds of Montana. Just about worthy of an LRH-style high-action fiction novel !
Marcia, thank you so much for playing matchmaker as well as you do! — Love, Laury
AFFINITY EXCHANGE SUCCESS STORY
ROBERT SCHWARTZ and AYGUL FAVRUSHINA
“…marrying Aygul was like winning the lottery!”
From Robert: I want to take this opportunity to thank Marcia and the Affinity Exchange in helping me find my wife. I live in western Canada, an area where there are not many Scientologists, so the best way for me to connect with them was via an online service such as AE. I was fortunate enough to have met many nice ladies over time; however finding someone to marry was a whole different story.
About 8 months ago I decided not to compromise on anything and postulated to find my ideal 2D. I am happy to say I did! We are from different continents (she is from Russia!), so that was the first challenge. Fortunately, we were able to spend over a month together in both Paris and Spain on two separate trips. When we weren’t together, we managed to talk on an average of 3 hours per day. Despite our different backgrounds, we have an enormous amount of things in common, as well as a very natural understanding for each other. She is also a very big romantic, just as I am. In short, I am extremely happy.
Oh, one other thing–marrying Aygul was like winning the lottery!
From Aygul: I am thankful to Marcia for her help and want to say she is doing a great job connecting people, especially from different countries.
I met my husband when I was about to lose my hope to find the man that I knew was ideal for me. It was amazing–from the very first emails, we seemed to understand each other at once. Everything was just natural and easy, even though he is on the highest level in our religion, and I am just moving up.
All I can say to people who are still in search for their second half is: there are no boundaries in the universe. You need to follow your heart, know exactly what you want and keep your ethics in.
ROMAN ZULAUF and MARISSA DOMINGUEZ
From Marissa: My mother had been a member of the Affinity Exchange, so it was her who suggested I join. Then I met someone at work; but after awhile, it became obvious it wasn’t going to work out. So Mom suggested I re-join AE, and also suggested I look not just in the U.S. but venture further out. I thought this sounded like a good idea, but I just activated my profile and did not actually do any searches.
A month or so later, my mom reminded me to check my Inbox. I found a dozen messages. Of them all, Roman’s email captured me. I then read his profile and immediately thought, “He’s the guy I’ve been looking for.” For the first time, I felt ready to get married. But Roman lived in Switzerland (I live in Los Angeles), so I decided to get in communication and at least develop a nice friendship.
We emailed back and forth for a month. He suggested we get a webcam. Then we talked every day for an hour by webcam. A few months after our initial contact, he flew to Los Angeles and we finally met in person. We hit it off right away.
For the next 1-1/2 years we got together every 3 months—I went to Switzerland twice, and he came to the U.S. four times.
Here’s a funny thing… he was talking rings before we even did the webcam. Then four months ago we went shopping for rings. He even announced our marriage plans to my family, but he didn’t officially propose till the day before our wedding!
Thank you, Marcia, for creating the Affinity Exchange. Who knows where your true love is located on this planet. You made it possible for us to find each other.
From Roman: I was in a relationship with someone, but our philosophical differences were too great to overcome, so I ended it. I realized how much I wanted to find the right person and stabilize that part of my life. Having previously heard about the Affinity Exchange, I found it and signed up. I did extensive international searches and paid right away so I could send email messages.
My search narrowed down to two choices—one in Switzerland and one in Los Angeles (Marissa). Curiously enough, the lady in Switzerland never answered! It took Marissa a few weeks, but she finally responded. The rest you know from Marissa’s story.
Pretty early on, I knew I wanted to marry her, but I didn’t want to propose on the webcam, so our courtship continued. When we finally decided to take the vows, it all went pretty fast, but we were still not physically together. I wanted to make the official proposal in person, which I did… the day before the wedding. Oh well, better late than never, as they say!
The question comes up, “How can you tell if someone is the right person?” So I asked my sister. She said that Mom said “When the right person comes along, you’ll just know.” Well, with Marissa, it was indeed like that. There are no “issues.” We get along great. We laugh together about everything. Our affinity is out the roof, as well as common realities and excellent communication. We have created the safehaven I originally postulated.
It’s hard to imagine how we would have connected without the Affinity Exchange. Thank you so much, Marcia, for putting it there.
From Marcia: Turns out I (Marcia) was able to be the minister for this wedding, in addition to having been the matchmaker! They asked me to “say a few words” before starting the official ceremony. Below is what I said:
“I want to welcome you all to this joyous occasion—the marriage of Roman and Marissa.
Before we begin the official ceremony, I would like to say a few words.
As most of you probably already know, Roman is from Switzerland. They met through an online dating service—mine, in fact. So in addition to being their minister, I was also their matchmaker.
Meeting Roman yesterday for the first time, I had a chance to get more of his story. First he decided that he really wanted to find the right person and create a stable relationship. He searched the world and chose TWO ladies—one in Switzerland and one in Los Angeles. The one in Switzerland did not even respond. Fortunately, Marissa did (Marissa told me that his initial email to her “captured” her), and thus began a courtship that lasted for a year and a half using email, webcam, and half a dozen transcontinental visits.
As I’m sure you’ll all agree, Marissa is a beautiful young woman, and Roman is a handsome young man. They meet, they fall in love. Well, that’s the easy part. “Living happily ever after” is the challenging part.
The ceremony we are about to do talks about the ARC Triangle. A stands for Affinity, which means liking. “I have a special affinity for frogs—or football, or the color pink.” R stands for Reality—that which is real. C stands for Communication. I think you all know what that means. Communication is the most important of these three components. These three components are interrelated and move up and down together. If communication falls out, the affinity lowers, don’t you agree? Thus, understanding this triangle, I think you would all agree that a married couple should have very high ARC.
Fortunately, I am convinced that Roman and Marissa have VERY high ARC. This is what will get them through the trials and tribulations that life offers up. Roman says they have no issues and they laugh together about everything. This is a good sign!
Additionally, already knowing Marissa’s family, and now having gotten to meet Roman’s, it makes me very happy to know that this young couple have an abundance of relatives who know a lot of things about a lot of things. It’s great to have a support team loaded with wisdom and experience. Thus I am very pleased to help this lovely young couple to take the marriage vows.”
From Bridgette: The entire Affinity Exchange experience actually started out with a bottle of wine, two very dear girlfriends, and a laptop. I was brand new to internet dating—actually did it because my friends pushed me into it. I guess I had become one of their projects.
I wasn’t on the Affinity Exchange very long, had just about given up, and had actually decided to close down my profile. I was literally in the middle of trying to figure out how to do it when I noticed that I had been hot listed. Having no idea what that was, I looked into it and, in so doing, discovered Gene. There he was!
He is exactly what I was looking for, and vice-versa. We instantly fell head-over-heels in love! He is a wonderful man. Our relationship is so easy–there is no effort—it’s just a bundle of joy. We couldn’t be happier!
We are putting together our “From the Beginning…” Scrapbook. We both want to have what our profiles said, as well as all of the emails that led up to our dating, etc.
For something I originally pooh-poohed, boy, what an incredible happy ending! I cannot thank you enough for your site, your kindness, and your help. It is a very needed thing. My life is very complete and I feel very fulfilled. — Much love, Bridgette
From Gene: I had recently ended a relationship and felt that I was not quite ready to resume dating when I first logged onto the website. I was actually just trying to take a step towards “getting back into the game” by setting up my profile and bookmarking a few people I might be interested in contacting once I felt I was ready. I was perturbed that I couldn’t figure out how to hide my newly created profile, as I didn’t want anyone to see it just yet.
Well, one of the women I bookmarked (hotlisted) did see my profile before I had the opportunity to hide it. She not only saw it, but winked at me via the site three times that same night. I couldn’t very well ignore that! So I joined the next day and e-mailed her, thereby beginning the greatest relationship I could possibly imagine.
We met a few days later. After two months, we were engaged. Six months later, we were married. And the honeymoon continues every single day. Bridgette is the most incredible woman I’ve ever met and is everything I could possibly desire in a life partner . . . and more! Words could never adequately describe my love for her and how tremendously she has enhanced my life.
Thank you for providing the forum for me to find my true soulmate. – Love, Gene
YULIA BYCHKOVA AND JEFF JENNER
“… and then we called each other every single day–for 3 years!”
From Jeff: I was a member of the Affinity Exchange for several years or so and had some losses on failing to find a wife. I thought about going off it but didn’t because I knew that I would find the one for me sooner or later. I had a strong postulate to make this happen.
About four years ago, I emailed my future wife for the first time. She was living in Vancouver, Canada, and I was in Clearwater, Florida. We carried on our relationship over the phone with great communication for several months. Then I visited her for the first time. It went wonderfully (as I knew it would), and we planned to meet again soon!
There were more “reasons” than I care to mention here for us to stop the relationship right there–one being the huge distance between us–but we both just kept our postulates and communication alive, and I visited her many more times. We didn’t give up, and I proposed to her on New Years Eve at midnight, 2007. Amid fireworks and bells tolling, she said yes!
Thanks Marcia for creating this wonderful tool to help someone find their love, friend, husband or wife. I am truly happy with my wife and marriage and could not have done it without you and Affinity Exchange!
FROM YULIA: It took me seven years to find and recognize Jeff. I was looking online internationally because there seemed to be not that many men who share the same religious philosophy in my country (I’m originally from Russia and was living at the time in Canada). I always had this exciting idea about having an international family. It takes perseverance and intention because you start a lot of comm lines and many of them look so promising in the beginning, but then you find yourself disappointed and have to start the search all over again–and do this again and again. I went through a few periods of “I am not doing this online dating anymore,” but I would return to the website as why would I want to decrease my chances? I would rather increase them.
When I first saw Jeff’s profile, it actually caught my eye. I liked what he wrote about himself and I liked his picture, but I decided not to email him as he was too young for me (8 months younger). This was silly, of course, so I was lucky that he sent an email to me! Fortunately, I was within his age category. I was almost in apathy about online dating at that point, but somehow he made me laugh with one of his first emails, so it took some of the seriousness out of the game.
Here are some actions I took which I consider were successful. First of all, I wrote my 2D admin scale and then reworked it many times. Jeff also had his admin scale, so we were able to exchange and discuss them. My admin scale was quite detailed. I knew which points I would not compromise on.
We emailed each other every day, and then we called each other every single day–for 3 years! By the end of the first year I knew more about Jeff than anybody! If you don’t stay in close comm, you can’t do long distance for a long time because distance is a great challenge to affinity and reality, especially if you live in different countries and can’t just fly over every week. It actually is a good indicator as to whether the relationship can survive if you find enough points of reality and interest to be able to stay in close communication.
I received a lot of messages from other nice men, but after two or three emails, I just didn’t know what else I could talk about! I couldn’t squeeze out any more comm in their direction—it just wouldn’t flow. With Jeff, it was easy, it was flowing, and I enjoyed it. This is important too–you have to enjoy it; you can’t enforce it on yourself.
While in comm with Jeff, I started writing poems again and wrote quite a few. I was also able to accomplish something in my life which I thought I could never do. I think when you are with the right person you get more theta and surprise yourself. This indicated to me.
Another successful action was telling each other about “the skeletons in our closets” and accepting them from each other. This was really, really good because after that I felt he allowed me to be myself.
We also applied conditions. This actually worked like magic. At one point we almost broke up, but by applying conditions and getting off any withholds, we saved our relationship.
Then I remembered about flows. If you outflow, you get inflow. This stuff works!! I put a lot of work into my profile to express myself, plus I had a professional picture on the website. I had outflowed to guys, plus I helped other people to get on the website and helped them create and/or translate their profiles.
Jeff and I have been married over a year now. Sometimes I stop for a second and think, “Wow! Five years ago I wouldn’t think all this was possible!” Thanks, Marcia!!!